FUNNY BULLSHIT

A little girl asked her mom, "What is a penis?
"Her mom said, "It's that thing between Daddy's legs."
The girl asked, "Well, what is a prick??"
Her mom answered, "That's the rest of Daddy."

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in. ...

Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active.
The other man confesses ...

A prominent Columbia Maryland Yuppette had her teenage niece from New York visiting for the summer. She decided to sit down and have a talk with the girl explaining how things were done in Yuppie City. ...

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the man just hid the pup down ...

Q: What Is The Difference Between Sky And A Skirt?
A: The Sky Covers the Whole Universe And A Skirt Covers the Universal Hole.
Q: What Is The Similarity Between Girl And a cup of Tea?
A: ...

A guy decides he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder ...

An Alexander County Deputy pulled a car over on I-57 about 2 miles north of the Missouri State line.
When the Deputy asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a ...

"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Upon ...

I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I
licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began ...

A man goes to his doctor's and says, "Doc, I've just been raped by an elephant!"
The stunned doctor replies, "What makes you say that?"
"Well," says the man holding his hands about ...

A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane. When they get up there, she says, "I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker." The guy thinks about this for a short time and says ...

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports ...

There were three construction workers, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. One day when they were eating lunch, the red head said, "I hope I don't get a turkey sandwich." and sure enough, he gets a ...