FUNNY BULLSHIT

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last
of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided ...

Two little boys are sitting In the living room, watching TV with their parents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward upstairs.
The father "Gets" the message, and they ...

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The ...

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They ...

A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
"Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain.
"Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again her husband died. But she remarried, and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing ...

Dude walks into a pharmacy laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing. The pharmacist is perplexed but doesn't give it a second thought. The ...

A woman who had been twice married and divorced was fed up. Her first husband was violent, and her second husband ran off with another woman.
Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy ...

What women would do if they had a penis for a day
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. ...

John and his date were parked on a secluded dirt road and started to make out hot and heavy. The chick stopped and said, "I really should have told you this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I ...

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk ...

A little boy walks into his parents room and sees his mom bouncing up and down on top of his dad.
Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worrying about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly ...

A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant. The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to ...

Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He looks too dumb!"
"No Momma," she said, "He is going to be a Doctor and he has already cured me of that bleeding ...